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| Today I deactivated my Facebook account in a personal protest against SOPA and the flag the Congress that their actions are not going completely unnoticed. I do not know how effective this kind of sort of black out today will be, but I figured I had to do something to remind myself of what is going on outside of my life, yet within my life.
First day of classes and just finished my first class, Patternmaking: Draping. The teacher, Debra, is really nice and is a crisp and detailed instructor. I enjoyed her demo today and am looking forward to do our first technical task. However, this is only possible if I can afford the supplies. Geezus.
Hopefully I find my missing two rulers in the storage room, and if not, well, what else can I do other than replace them? I was hoping to have enough money to buy a bolt of muslin for the semester, but no such luck so far. Just have to work through this a little at a time I guess.
I sort of want to start writing a story of my life. Because I think it is entertaining and because I want to re-evaluate my life as it has been. | | |
| Here's what we learned about you:
You value an internship in an environment that focuses on human need. You appreciate opportunities that allow you to express emotion and concern for others.
Your interests indicate:
Advertising
Fine arts
Interior design
Photography
Dramatics
Music
You are artistic, imaginative, and innovative.
You like to use your creativity to express feelings and emotions.
You are drawn to the arts, performance, writing and fields that appreciate unusual ideas and aesthetic styles.
The best internship experience for you is one that draws you to opportunities for problem-solving, analysis and design
A few popular internship choices for people with similar results are:
Entrepreneurial BusinessesInvestment bankingVenture capitalOutplacement consultingManagement/marketing consultingCopywritingRadio/TVPoliticsReal estateTheaterStrategic planningUniversity administrationMotivational speakingInternet marketingAdvertising
The best internship environment for you.
You enjoy work environments that are active and open to change. You're typically drawn to internships in which the environment is entrepreneurial in nature and allows you to play a significant role in shaping the culture. You may prefer smaller organizations that require you to wear a lot of hats. A start-up organization that encourages you to put your thumbprint into the business may be a good fit.
The best kind of boss for you.
You may prefer internships in which the leader is open to new growth. You appreciate leaders who do not struggle with difficult decisions, particularly when it comes to their employees. You want a leader who is strict about following the rules but is also open to new ideas for making the organization more efficient, productive, and profitable.
Your style of interning and strengths in an internship.
You tend to think about all the possibilities and are typically seen as a visionary rather than an implementer. You are likely to go by your hunches and are able to see patterns and connections between two seemingly unrelated concepts.
You are able to see connections and implications that no one else does. You show natural creativity and influence others with your vision. | | |
| Fuck.
Fuck you.
Fuck me.
Fuck me for wanting to fuck you.
Fuck me for caring about someone who can't give less of a fuck about me.
Fuck me for knowing I'm fucking wrong.
Fuck me for being your own personal cheerleader.
Fuck me for being afraid to fuck things up.
Fuck me for already fucking up.
Fuck me for falling in love.
Fuck you for being a selfish bastard that cares only about watching his own god damn ass.
Fuck you for being a coward who likes to mess with people for a personal confidence boost.
Fuck you for making me feel special in a way that makes me feel dirty.
Fuck you for being the one I can't stop thinking about no matter how hard I try.
Fuck you for ever telling me I look like *her* because now all I feel is her shadow in your eyes.
Fuck you for not hiding your feelings when I need you to.
Fuck you. | | |
| Silly tingling feelings whispering against the back of my mind
Of hands and other body parts intertwined
Inappropriately, recklessly, lustfully
Shaking breaths of a couple of fools
Deep in an aching love
Just not with each other
The reels of the mind rewind again and again
Things that never go as was planned
Against the metal rungs, fabric scraping against each other
It was supposed to be just a hug, not much further
Stirring words into actions and actions into regrets
Filled with guilty longings and forbidden steps back
Into dark corners which judgments are blind to
Crevices that hesitate to reveal two fools
Never falling in love, no already there is love
Of hurt and of healing, ending and just beginning
In an intimate embrace one seeks to rejoin
The love of lives always there, always willing
So why, oh, why does one do this killing?
To a love so beautiful and a love so kind
To a love that can be said is only mine
When the other part doubts and the other party chimes
With apologies and silences that hides what’s on their mind
The lust is still there, untamed and further lined
Along the shadows of impending sunrise
After late night fancies conversing, forgetting time
Oh, I never meant to forsake this love of mine
And I can’t help that these thoughts overtake
The desperate embraces we continue to make
Holding to what we’ve been grappling with and waiting for
Holding on to the fact that perhaps this is it and there is nothing more
So why do I care for a lonely fool shaking in my arms?
Why do I care for a lonely fool that has been a catalyst to burning scars?
Why do I want what I shouldn’t dare seek?
Why is it the bolder my longings, the more meek
I am expected to be and become
I am not who I am anymore, but someone
I do not recognize, even in those loving, beautiful eyes
I hate myself not for the longing, deceit, or lies
But for the fear, the regret, the uncertainty
I hate myself for losing that confident ferocity
Blooming in the core like a candied rose petal
Swallowed whole by fraying, expected ideals
Nonexistent in your realm
No, nor with them. | | |
| There's so much going on right now I hardly have time to think just for the sake of thinking. However, I really wouldn't have things any other way right now.
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